⚽ The Dispatch, Vol. 10 — Spoils of War
Sunday, 28 June 2026 · The People's World Cup · Knockout Stage
No matches today. The Commissioner will graciously give you the day back to do whatever you do when you're not watching soccer games.
🌿 Off the pitch
Yesterday's Vergennes Pride afterparty brought us to Big Heart Social in an unofficial capacity. Coffee. Drinks. Board games. Temporary tattoos applied in quantities that will not be enumerated here. The photographic evidence has been entered into the record and speaks for itself.
We participated in Trivia under the team name Are You Smarter Than a Third Grader? — a question proposed rhetorically, which Miles then answered empirically (i.e. we won. Twice.).
Winners selected their prizes via rock paper scissors. Miles acted as team representative and dispatched the field with what can only be described as perspicacity and a complete absence of mercy.
The spoils were divided as follows:
Miles claimed the monstera. It is large. It currently resides in our home, where Miles is supervising its care with the attentiveness he has historically reserved for things he just won in competition.
The winner and his prize.
The Commissioner claimed two tickets to a special screening of She's the He — a trans coming-of-age comedy, 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, written and directed by Siobhan McCarthy with an almost entirely trans and nonbinary cast. It is, by all accounts, exactly the kind of film one wants to win tickets to. Miles has been informed that he may not attend and he has reluctantly accepted this ruling. Cookie pie has been proposed as a consolation prize and will be delivered in the coming days, at which point this matter will be considered resolved.
A scheduling note: Big Heart Social will be hosting Star Trek trivia in the coming weeks and, quelle surprise, the Commissioner will be serving as host. Participants are advised that the Commissioner has been Preparing.
Big Heart Social is very good. The Commissioner has, in fact, been using it as a coworking space since before the doors opened to the public — a relationship that is professional, financial, and entirely without conflict of interest, unlike certain upcoming trivia nights. A full coworking space is forthcoming. Food service begins next week.
🔮 What's coming
Tomorrow, Monterrey — 🇳🇱 Netherlands vs 🇲🇦 Morocco. Jason vs Mikaela & Will. Both teams finished group play at Real 12. One of them has to lose.
Tuesday, the Azteca — 🇲🇽 Mexico's knockout opener. Lever will be watching from the tank, fortified by bloodworms.
Wednesday — 🇺🇸 USA vs 🇧🇦 Bosnia & Herzegovina. Also 🇧🇪 Belgium in Seattle.
I really can't overstate how large this plant is.
Let the matches continue.